Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Chocolate jokes for kidsare another way to make them smile. How dairy steal my chocolate! The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! ao! A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. I do not like sweets but I would gladly eat them just to get close to you. Because he was moo-dy! Currently you have JavaScript disabled. With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. Just so you know I have a ref full of chocolate, a couch and good films at my house. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. The Chocolate Cream Soldier, Arms and the Man, I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. If our research results continue to support a link between consumption of flavanol-rich cocoa and nitric oxide synthesis, there could be significant implications for public health. Easy Copy & Paste! 84. Louis Lemery, 1702, The divine drink which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. 4. [1] Quick, Funny Jokes! 2. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. Julie Davis, Los Angeles Times, 10/30/85. If you were a concentration gradient, I . Why not! When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate. Its nutty, crunchy, and chocolatey delicious. It can make us feel happy and a lot more. If you were my husband I would poison your tea. It gets her Snickers in a Twix. My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. Which chocolate candy bar is a cats favorite? All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? It can make us feel loved. 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? Egg Jokes. Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be. Life is what you bake it. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? What does that have to do with anything?" He had a chip in his tooth. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. One smart cookie. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. 2. The Greek term theobroma (Latin name for cacao) means literally food of the gods. Nestle Crunk bar. A Mars bar. Look, theres no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. Tiefing Susan Isaacs, The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE! You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. Are you a box of chocolate? What did you guys do? Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. If you are a candy bar I promise I would refuse to share you with other people. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. A: Proofreading. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Just ice cream. Judith Viorst. I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? Why did the candy bar cross the road? Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? They had a baby, Ruth. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" "For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds." Chocolate Jokes. Mustering one final effort, he threw himself toward the table. Copy This. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. I cannot think of anything sweeter than chocolate than oops of course there is you! I cant resist to use my tongue in eating this ice cream just like I cant when Im eating you. What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common? Dear I would pour all the sweetness I have in my body towards you to make you happy. It is a source of polyphenols, the same type of antioxidants found in red wine, and the fat it contains is stearic acid, which doesnt affect cholesterol levels. Who is the sweetest man in the world? . Nursing Home Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits of chocolate. @. These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. What is a feminists favorite chocolate bar? What happens before it rains chocolate? A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Q: Why did the complete moron get fired from the M&M factory? "People think I hate sex. I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way and a galaxy, and they were astronomical.I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. A little boy was taken to the dentist. I dont know about you but sharing this bar with you feels absolutely right. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex. Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. I appreciate a balanced diet. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. Being with you is like getting into cloud nine full of sweets. I am a serious chocoholic. my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. Hernando Corts, 1519, If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Cruller to be kind. Babe can I get a cookie that tastes like you? The young man loved peanuts. Please add a link to this article. Get ready, because you will go ape over these banana puns: 1. Here youll find the best chocolate jokes, were sure youll agree. Glazed and confused. We forget that chocolate is derived from cocoa beans-the fruit of the cacao tree-a fruit that is a rich source of these potentially beneficial substances. Ill eat anything! Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. I'm just happy to see you. Your email address will not be published. These banana puns are going to make you peel over in laughter. Dear Star Wars, let us count the reasons we love you. I'll start by nibbling on your ears and save the rest for last. Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. Q: How do you confuse a complete moron? I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. So black kids could get dirty faces too. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. He says "I'd like a kipper tie please". as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. Are you chocolate milk? Why did people make white chocolate? Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. How about I make you happy this time? Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Chocoearly. He also suggested cocoa butter for skin treatment, piles and gout. You are smoother and more palatable than a fondant and I like that. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. Baby you light up my mood like the way chocolate can. *wink wink*. I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast. Chocolate fantasy in progress. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? A naked man broke into a church. Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? Making this ice cream sundae will take up gelato my time! Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? I only wanted a weeks supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you. Whos there? I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No. There was a million dollars. It's so cold my shadow froze on the sidewalk. (LogOut/ What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? Do not Disturb! Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. It sprinkles. If there is one thing that every person should try in their lives, it would be having a bite of chocolate! 3. Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts! "Take only one. And it always feels good. Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. Share. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Friend 1: Maybe you should go to hell! I dont think theres anything hotter than a chocolate but hey! But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? A chocolate bar. She died.". I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. Bob Saget: That's What I'm Talking About is out now on Apple TV, Amazon Prime Video, Dish, DirectTV, Spectrum, Google Play and more! I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. Knock Knock! A: He threw out the Ws. They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate. Open a box with chocolate jokes one liners that will make you laugh! What did the M&M go to college? Your site is very interesting. Make sure to tell these to true . - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Do you know why?Son: I dont know. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" Best Deez Nuts Jokes. The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." Wanna take the joke a little far? See you in the Email! Half dark and half light chocolate. I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! Knock, knock.Whos there?Chalk.Chalk who?Chocolate is my favourite flavour ice cream. Dont they actually counteract each other? But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. Are you cold? Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. Ouch you are giving me a good kind of toothache just because of your sweetness. Better late than never, right? Dr. Bachot, 1662. Ive got a collection of hilarious chocolate jokes and puns that will make you chuckle no matter what time it is! But he minded his own business.. He rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. A marsbar! ChocoLATE Everyone got a piece. Patrick Skene Catling. I think of that again and again! "You mean J.C? Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! How do you make a pool table laugh? Cause mocha is made from two of my favorite food in the world. What do you call dancing chocolate bar? You are 10x delectable than any sweet food I know in this world. Milton Hershey, Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. Have a look! So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! eating chocolate You 6. Thanks. There was a convertible. A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. The tenth lies. If you are interested in more jokes and puns, take a look at Cookie Puns and Baking Puns. It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. What does a box of chocolate and life have in common? You gave my life thrill just like sweets do to my taste buds. Girl youre like a ganache cause you make this cake better just like you make my day better. Kuhtuhluh Report. Because I'd love to spread them! Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. I don't. I just don . When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! A PayDay. I thought of you while having chocolate cake, because you are just too sweet. Are you a chocolate bar? Stress wouldnt be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered. One key, not just to keeping weight down and staying guilt-free, but also to keeping taste buds sharp (essential for the professionals who evaluate new products as well as judge recipes), is being discriminating. Love & Sex - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. A: Chocolate covered aunts. I dont know babe but I think my love for you is enough to stop your cravings for sweet. Have you seen all jokes? No, he answered. Decad-ant When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. I do not mind gaining more weight as long as you do it with me. John Milton, The Devils Advocate. A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? I know youre a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you. (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. An old man and a young man work together in an office. Are you a chocolate bar? Nibbling would be enough for now because I would like to save you forever. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Ideas for the top 101 chocolate jokes were taken from the following sources. EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". Darling you are enough sweet for me. I dont like sweets but baby you are an exception to that rule. 1940s-early 1960s [ edit] Cora: A brown-haired girl who appeared only in single-page comic strips in the 1960s. Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog. please reply can we share on our website?? Choco-early. If you are a chocolate lover, youll surely enjoy reading these chocolate jokes too. What do cannibals eat for dessert? Cao-cao! Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). Tootsie Trolls. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. A rocky road! What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate? In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? Hes a chocolate lab. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? I want to go to heaven when I die! Friend 2: Well, untill you live, you could go to Africa, and after you die, say to God that you've already been to hell. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Enjoy our chocolate quotes and jokes by clicking on a link to jump to that topic below. Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. Do you like it dark or milky? Vegetable Jokes. Chocolate Ice Cream. Donut stop believing. The list wont be complete without the knock knock jokes. 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. Nothing is more romantic than chocolate. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A Candy Baa.My wife always cheats when shes dieting.She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other menDid you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?They had a baby, Ruth.What do you call a womanising chocolate?A cad-bury.How do you know its cold outside?When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTeWhy did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? ", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief". Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! There are only three things in life that matter good friends, good chocolate and, oh dear, what was that other one? Maria. Knock knock! Are you a box of chocolate? Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. Whats Boris Johnsons favourite chocolate bar? Hey girl can you be the candy sprinkles to my ice cream? We know we love them! Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. The prisoners thought they wouldnt be any good, but they were. Deal? Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. Somehow Im just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.I dont like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a cookie when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. Are you chocolate? #2. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. I can't help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars snickers. Because he wanted to be a Smarty. 85. How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. Boy I can make you melt in my mouth and in my hand like chocolate. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers.
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